(In)frequently Asked Questions

As promised in my inaugural post, I’m answering a number of infrequently asked questions here for the record.

(There are no frequently asked questions.You need more readers than “Mom” in order to have frequency.)

You’re an idiot.
OK, just making sure we get this out of the way.

1. Not a question.
2. Point taken.

Why are you doing this?
This project combines two things I love: music and money. They are also two things about which I know embarrassingly little, despite a) having sung for two decades, and b) having used currency, both domestic and foreign, for nearly my entire life.

I want to see what a forced project can do to break me free of my musical and financial inertia. I think I actually might learn something from Warren. Heck, I might actually learn something from Jimmy. Over time I hope to learn something even more transcendental from the combination of both Buffetts.

And I’ll diversify my portfolio and write some crappy songs while I’m at it. Come on. What’s the worst that can happen? I:

• a) completely waste an enormous amount of time;
• b) lose a huge chunk of cash;
• c) embarrass myself publicly and repeatedly throughout the process; and
• d) become a full-fledged Jimmy Buffett Parrothead.

“A,” “B,” and “C” I have routinely done throughout my life. So really the only new risk here is “D.” It’s on, Jimmy.

What do you have against Jimmy Buffett?

Nothing. I’m sure he’s a fine guy. I’ve had little exposure to his music, and that which I have heard I haven’t wanted to hear ever again. But 32 studio albums, four decades of touring (including a $41M grossing tour in 2006), multiple restaurant chains, tequila and beer brands, part-ownership of the Dolphins, etc., stand for something if not “quality.”

So I’ll find out by immersing myself in every song the man has ever written. Over and over and over.

You know that investing $1000 a week on a fixed schedule is, like, in complete and utter defiance of Warren Buffett’s core value investing philosophy, which argues to buy as much as stock you can when a company is “attractively priced,” and not simply when the urge — or a stupid blog contrivance — compels you to buy?
Yes.

Here’s my counter argument. Given that I am not making markets when I invest, and the current lack of diversification in my cash-heavy portfolio, I posit that there should be enough values over the long run to make this worth my while. Whatever. Shut up.

Do you really think you’re going to “learn” how to invest by reading Warren Buffett’s letters, and nothing more, you invertebrate?
(This one actually is from Mom.) I don’t know. Probably not. And if that’s the case, then I’ll at least have something to say whenever I hear the “all you need to do is read Warren Buffett’s…” chestnut.

You know that Warren and Jimmy aren’t brothers?
Uh huh. Other notable non-brothers:

• George and Bill Clinton
• Peyton and Eli Manning
• Stephen and Martin Luther King
• Arnold and Ralph Schwarzenegger

The Brothers Clinton

Why don’t we get drunk (and screw)?
Ahh… haha, I see what you did there.

You’re an idiot, you realize?
Now that’s a question!